I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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