God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Randomize
