my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
