I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
