I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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