What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
