Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
