You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
