I cannot find my penis.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he just fucked me for my cheese.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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