there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize