I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
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Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
This is the high leading the old right now
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
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Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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