Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
