I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
