how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
