There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
