I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
