I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize