Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
