Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
