i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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