census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
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Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
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