You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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