Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
