a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize