Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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