Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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