I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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