i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
