so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
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She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
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Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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