I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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