I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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