How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
