You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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