i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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