Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it

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  (412): you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it http://tfl.nu/8zt4
  Replies (15) Good night (7738) Bad night (1149)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.

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  (630): you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid. http://tfl.nu/ndn7
  Replies (5) Good night (5754) Bad night (1694)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.

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  (775): At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town. http://tfl.nu/0gi3
  Replies (17) Good night (4212) Bad night (817)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'

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  (224): It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat' http://tfl.nu/0g9k
  Replies (12) Good night (1399) Bad night (3888)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.

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  (517): the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into. http://tfl.nu/bckk
  Replies (14) Good night (2977) Bad night (1823)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  drunk tastebuds have low standards.

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  (423): drunk tastebuds have low standards. http://tfl.nu/mx1k
  Replies (6) Good night (3770) Bad night (1111)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...

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  (507): She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart... http://tfl.nu/kgd9
  Replies (42) Good night (1016) Bad night (12353)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.

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  (480): Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea. http://tfl.nu/itom
  Replies (2) Good night (2741) Bad night (1051)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.

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  (864): just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring. http://tfl.nu/qf1b
  Replies (7) Good night (3570) Bad night (1046)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.

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  (517): Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning. http://tfl.nu/hea7
  Replies (8) Good night (3217) Bad night (803)
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  (415): View more from California

  My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"

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  (415): My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip" http://tfl.nu/8eaj
  Replies (4) Good night (853) Bad night (492)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.

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  (513): I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen. http://tfl.nu/m4h2
  Replies (9) Good night (1523) Bad night (374)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?

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  (416): feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano? http://tfl.nu/gww1
  Replies (7) Good night (1545) Bad night (293)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry

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  (406): Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry http://tfl.nu/gx9l
  Replies (1) Good night (870) Bad night (256)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us

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  (763): No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested (612): Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us http://tfl.nu/ydpg
  Replies (7) Good night (1279) Bad night (264)

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