So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!