For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
