C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize