im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
