you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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