So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
