People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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