you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
