Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize