The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
All I want is dick and wine.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
