Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
