We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
