I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
