Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Randomize
