Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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