? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
