And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
