I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
