I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
