my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
