I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
