Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize