Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
