I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
