Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize