He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
