I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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