the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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