It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
