i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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