I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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