Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We need to rekindle our bromance
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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