It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize